Lust is not the fault of the person being lusted after; it
reflects preexisting heart desires that need to be managed by the person that
is lusting. Moral responsibility needs to fall on our own individual beings. If
we teach young girls that modesty is for the guys because they cannot control
themselves, we are teaching these ladies that men are animals and that it is HER
fault if crap happens. It is HER fault if she is sexually abused. It is HER fault
if she does something/breathes wrong that makes him beat her with in an inch her
life. It is HER fault, because he cannot control himself. On the flip-side if we
teach young men this exact same message they will not see their responsibility
as human beings to treat women as human beings.
I remember many church pool parties where if I showed any of
my body even the top part of my thigh it was a sin. I fell into this trap of my
body needs to be covered for the man’s sake. I remember policing the younger
girls and telling them the exact same thing. I also remember when girls who
were not raised in the church would join us at swimming parties without knowing
our unwritten rules came in bikinis, how the guys would flock them and become
their best friends. I remember how pissed I was because if I wore that our guys
would have shamed me and acted like I was a heathen that was on her way to
hell.
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| Shorts, a one piece, and a sports bra to support a chest God did not give me.... this was a norm for us girls, sometimes we even had a big t-shirt to go with this beautiful style. |
Yes, I still believe that modesty can be a good thing, but I
do not believe that I need to cover myself for a man’s sake. Many studies have
shown that no matter what a woman a man that lacks personal self-control will
still view her as a sexual object.
Modesty for me is a choice for ME. Period. I choose to be
modest because I believe that it is the best for ME as a Christian. I
understand that society is not at all the ideal that I wish for it to be, so I
cover up so I may have a better chance to communicating within a disgustingly
broken system. I cover up so that those born in a culture different than mine
may respect me. I do not however cover up because I need to protect some man’s
innocence, to me that idea IS absurd.
Our churches, and our society in general, needs to change
the way we talk about sex and modesty. Stereotypical blanket statements are
damaging to a developing person. The ideas that men need to be strong and
always a leader are not always true to the individual man. It is also a false
idea about women always needing to be sweet and submissive. I know SOOO many
people who these stereotypes do not fit. It is these stereotypes that can even make
some people question their sexuality.
1 Corinthians 12:12
The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up
one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ.
God created all of us differently; we all have different
abilities and desires. If we continue to stick with these blanket stereotypes,
people will continue to question the abilities and wants that God placed with
in them. I vote that we celebrate who we are as human beings, instead of hiding
our God given abilities because they do not “fit”. With this I am not saying that we should
embrace our sinful nature, but that we should learn to control what truly is
sin like lust, instead of focusing on a man-made construct like modesty.
Further Reading:
