Grandparents

I was talking tonight with my roommate about grandparents, and the impact they have in our lives. We got to talking about clothing and remnants of them they have left behind or have given to us. I realized a few things about myself I really have not be acknowledging.

Most of my grandparents are no longer with me. My Grandma Charlie is still alive and I absolutely love her and her husband dearly. They are sweet people who willing always welcome me into their house. They know my favorites and Grandpa Bobert is always willing to whip up a mean stack of ribs whenever I am home. They are ornery and pick on me, but they always do it out of love. The things I have been realizing are not really about these youngins, but I did not want to leave their importance in my life out of this blog.

My realizations about myself are ones that I have learned from my deceased grandparents, especially my Grandma Love. My Grandma Love is who I take after both in physical appearances and in our personalities. A lot of people say I act like my mom, but I feel like they say that because they did not know my Grandma Love.

She was a beautiful strong willed woman. She ran her own business as a potter, and instructed many classes from people from everywhere. I remember hearing stories of how people from California would drive all the way to Missouri to take lessons from her. She was famous in her day, I believe so at least. She was the first artist to get poured pottery to be displayed at War Eagle.

I try to take after her in her amazing artistic abilities. My dad will sometimes tell me that if Grandma Love could see my art now, that she would be proud.

When I was little my Grandma Love would make me these elaborate dresses. Each dress came with a matching dress for my dolls or teddy bears. These hand made dresses were a thing I did not fully appreciate when I was younger. I realized the importance of the dresses when they stopped. I had a tradition of running to my Grandma's sowing room when we visited there. One visit I ran to the room, but there was no dress hanging there waiting for me. I remember being upset, and confused and worried. My mom had to explain that her hands were not working they way they use to, and that is why she could not make a dress.

I often get asked why I wear so many dresses. I feel like it is because of my Grandma Love's under-appericiated dresses that make me now want to appreciate them.

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My favorite american historical time is around World War II. This is because to me, it is tangible. My Grandpa Love was there. He fought for our country, and got to be a part of a very important peace signing.

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My Grandpa Paul was a man who I did not get to know as long as the others. I remember a few things about him, one thing I remember is that he had a huge heart. I could see it in his smile and his eyes. He was a lover, and I know that sometimes that got him into trouble. From my grandpa I feel like he unknowingly is teaching me that I do not need to give my heart away to everyone like he did, that I should pick someone and love them till I die. 

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The deaths of my three grandparents when I was younger have made me realize how important just learning from people is. At my home church, I tend to sit with the older people when I can because I want absorb all of the wisdom they have to offer. I honestly feel like I have more friends at home that are 60+ than I do that are my own age, and I love that. God has blessed me with amazing elders in my life and I am dearly thankful for that. 

My advice: treasure the people around you, learn from them, love them. =)

Personal Silence

I am currently learning the beauty of silence. In this world we live in there is so much noise and chaos. There are beeps from phones and gadgets, TV's droning on and on, people aimlessly talking, and so much more. But why? What is the point in all of this noise if no one stops to listen? Also what is it that we miss daily due to our noise?

Everything around me produces some type of noise. I don't fully understand why this is, but I am willing to take a few stabs at it. I believe that things make noise to simply be heard. Take the clicking of my computer for instance, a slight tapping noise happens when I strike a keep. This sound wave is heard by my brain and I then know that I am actually making a dent in what I have to say(type). 

Things make noise to be heard, but also to teach and sooth. Walk past any young child's room and you'll hear loud toys. These toys are obnoxious to everyone, except for the child. They sing ridiculous songs, with simplistic lyrics, but to that child the song is teaching them something new. Also that song, after the child has heard it multiple times, can become a since of familiarity to the child and sooth them in new situations.

Noises have a grand place in daily life but if everyone is to busy creating the noise then who is left to listen? When I speak up for something I believe in, I want to be heard. If I want to be heard, then I need to slow down and listen to other people and give them the respect I with to receive. 

Slowing down and listening is something that I greatly struggle with. I want to be heard. I want to have the last word in conversation. I want my voice to last. But I cannot learn if I am not silent and willing to listen. 

To be fully silent, and willing to listen, I have to disconnect myself from the world. I put cell phone down. I get off Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. I turn off the TV and the radio. It is in this disconnected state, that I have found that I do some of my best thinking. In this silence I am able to question and sort out who I really am. I am able to learn why I believe the things that I believe. I am also able to listen. I love listening to people when they are genuine in what they are wanting to say. I am learning that I am horrible at responding to them, but that I love hearing peoples hearts. 

Whenever my life is full of outside noise, I loose this ability to listen. I hear every other word, or just what is important. And since seeking out my on personal time of just silence I have learned how selfish I am when there are so many distractions around me like a TV, or music.

I would encourage anyone reading this to try to set apart time for just silence. You may just learn things about yourself you never knew, or actually hear someone else and what they are truly saying. =]

James 1:19 (NIV)

¹⁹ My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry 

23

I always thought that I would be one of the first of my friends to get married. But as time goes on I am realizing how that probably wont happen, and I am content with that. 

I have not always been content with not marrying right away. I have always been the girl with a constant boyfriend. I held them tight around my finger until either things were moving way to fast, or I became to in love with the idea of a relationship instead of the man. I had big dreams of a grand wedding when I was still young. 23 had always been the perfect age to get married, but that year is coming on quick, and it is no longer desirable to me. 

I have been doing some growing up since the ending of my last relationship (summer 2k13). I have realized how selfish I really am. How I love to call all of the shots. How if something does not directly affect me that I did not care about it. I have realized that there is more to life than just me. That there are people out there that could do more with the opportunities life has given me. Most importantly, that I have amazing friends that are there for me, and that support me. 

I have sucked as a friend in supporting those who support me. If it was happening to me I would get insanely jealous, or tell them a story of something similar that happened to me once.  So my goal now is to support them. I want to be there for my friends like they are/were there for me.

My friends are beautiful beings and lately I feel like they have all been pairing off, and for the first time in my life I am not jealous of them, I am happy for them. I see there lives and I know that this is the time for them to fall in love. Their life plans match up perfectly with the life plans of their boyfriends. They are able to juggle both relationship and friendship, a trait I have yet to learn to do.

Although there are still three years till 23, I do not believe that I will be married. I can see most of my friends engaged or married by that point, but not me, and that is something that I am good with.

1 Peter 3:8
Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. (NLT)